2-White House Daily Press Briefing transcript:

Question: Mike, how have the Presidential Kneepads responded to yesterday's subpoena from Independent Counsel Starr?

Answer: We haven't spoken, but I imagine the Kneepads are dismayed to have been dragged into this matter, as you'd expect anyone close to the President to be under the circumstances.

Q: Have the Kneepads gotten advice of legal counsel?

A: Yes, the Kneepads have obtained legal representation and there'll be more information on that later.

Q: What sort of kneepads are they exactly?

A: I'll have specific manufacturer's serial numbers ready for you after the briefing, but they've been described to me as plastic discs affixed to elastic fabric sleeves, the sort of thing a roller skater might use.

Q: Have you seen the Kneepads?

A: Even working as closely to the President as I do, I don't always have occasion to see all of the Instruments of the Presidency.

Q: Is it true that the Kneepads were once a piece of cardboard?

A: That is true, however please keep in mind that the President has had kneepads since before he entered office. I should add that itŐs the feeling of White House Counsel that previous incarnations of the Kneepads, meaning those that existed before his first term, can't be subpoenaed in the Lewinsky matter.

Q: Do the Kneepads admit to knowing Monica Lewinsky?

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3-Diary entry: I'm not supposed to want much for myself personally because I'm a made, little thing, an idea attached to an object. You might have read about me but not really. I don't have a name, just a title associated with the work I do: KOTPOTUS, Kneepads of the President of the United States.
And by the way, Monica didn't "get" me; I work for Bill Clinton. It's not very glamorous work and since I was subpoenaed by the Independent Counsel the legal hassles have grown a little unmanageable, but I figure that comes with the territory, just part of my being in the structure of important things.

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