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My Thing
Susan tells me she is a model, that she is married to the son of the president of a foreign country. She also says that she is a lesbian on the sly, and not interested in mixing it up with her marriage.
The husband, instead, who came to one of our sessions, had his complain. She had seduced him by telling him that she was a lesbian, and now where was the third party in the bed? She would not share her affairs. Again, he was taking a lot of drugs, which she didn’t want to partake under the same roof.
Eventually, she starts telling me more about herself— there is a ‘peculiar thing’ she must do previous to our sessions. And this is how before we start she always goes to the bathroom, and comes back really quickly. The thing takes about a minute or two.
—Okay, but why don’t you do your thing in the bathroom, right before I come into the room, you have plenty of time I don’t want to wait…
Susan—Well, it only takes a minute.
—Why involve me? What if you take care of it before we enter the session?
This antic served for a while to prepare her for the session. But, now, she tells me, she has to do her thing before she leaves as well. I refuse. Since the bathroom of the studio is in the same room where the sessions takes place, the next patient would have to wait outside while Susan does ‘her thing’. I tell her, “this won’t do.”
With this, she was discontent. Still I refused to have the other patients wait on her account. If she weren’t to do it, she would have had to cry all afternoon because the chance of doing the thing had to always involve someone else, like the husband, me, and if not the next patient. Eventually, she wanted to tell me. Her thing, not a substance still an addiction, was: a one minute long masturbation.